It’s a very busy week here, but I hate to let the blog go neglected, so in lieu of something scintillating and original about the world around us, here’s something I found on our server that I’m posting here in anticipation of football season. This is an actual order written by a Texas judge:

IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT
FOR THE WESTERN DISTRICT OF TEXAS
AUSTIN DIVISION

RUTH WAGGONER, INDIVIDUALLY
AND AS REPRESENTATIVE OF THE
ESTATE OF WILLIAM H. WAGGONER
AND RONALD WAGGONER,

PLAINTIFFS

V.

WAL-MART STORES, INC, THE
STANLEY WORKS, INC, WAL-MART
STORES TEXAS, LLC, AND STANLEY
ACCESS TECHNOLOGIES, LLC,
DEFENDANTS

CAUSE NO. A-07-CA-703-JRN

ORDER

Before the Court in the above-entitled and styled cause of action is Defendant Wal-Mart Stores Texas, L.L.C.'s Opposed Motion for a Protective Order, filed May 29, 2008 (Doc. #26). Apparently, the parties are unable to agree if the deposition of Wal-Mart's corporate representative should occur in San Antonio, Texas or in Bentonville, Arkansas.

The Court is sympathetic with Defendant's argument. Surely Defendant's corporate representative, a resident of Arkansas, would feel great humiliation by being forced to enter the home state of the University of Texas, where the legendary Texas Longhorns have wrought havoc on the Arizona Razorbacks with an impressive 55-21 all-time series record.¹

On the other hand, the Court is sympathetic with Plaintiff's position. Plaintiffs might enter Arkansas with a bit of trepidation as many residents of Arkansas are still seeking retribution for the "Game of the Century" in which James Street and Darrell Royal stunned the Razorbacks by winning the 1969 National Championship.²

Because the Court is sympathetic to both parties' positions, it has found a neutral site, intended to avoid both humiliation and trepidation of retribution.

ACCORDINGLY, IT IS ORDERED THAT unless the parties agree otherwise, the deposition of Defendant's corporate representative shall occur at 9 AM on June, 11, 2008 on the steps of the Texarkana Federal Building, 500 State Line Avenue, TX/AR 71854.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED THAT each party is to remain on his or her respective side of the state line.

SIGNED this 3rd day of May, 2008.
[signed]

JAMES R. NOWLIN

UNITED STATES DISTRICT JUDGE
______________________________

¹ It is worth noting that the Razorbacks, who disgracefully retreated from the Southwest Conference into the gentler pastures of the Southeastern Conference, could have likely learned a lesson about stamina and perseverance in the face of battle by visiting the Alamo in San Antonio.

² The Court takes judicial notice that the "Game of the Century" for the current century occurred on January 4, 2006 when Vince Young and Make Brown led the Longhorns in a 41-38 win over the USC Trojans, thus securing the 2005 National Championship.

My favorite bit is the second footnote. If you’re not familiar with the concept of “judicial notice”, it means that the fact is so irrefutable that it requires no additional evidence to back it up – like if a witness testifies that she was facing west because the sun was setting, an expert doesn’t need to be called to testify that the sun does indeed set in the west. Similarly, no other testimony or evidence is required to confirm in the eyes of the court that the Game of the Century was the UT victory over USC to win the BCS championship in 2005.

Labels: football, judicial notice, the lighter side

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